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At the physics exam: 'Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.'

What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games?

The 'wave'.



The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC.
SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator.



A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?



Researchers in Fairbanks Alaska announced last week that they have discovered a superconductor which will operate at room temperature.



The answer to the problem was "log(1+x)". A student copied the answer from the good student next to him, but didn't want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to "timber(1+x)"



One day in class, Richard Feynman was talking about angular momentum. He described rotation matrices and mentioned that they did not commute. He said that Sir William Hamilton discovered noncommutivity one night when he was taking a walk in his garden with Lady Hamilton. As they sat down on a bench, there was a moment of passion. It was then that he discovered that AB did not equal BA.



The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason (long logical explanation follows)." In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...".



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